• The end of the world is nigh? Well twelve months away?

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    Above is a splendid graphic depicting Tower Bridge being overwhelmed. Click on image for full size. Today, 21st December, 2011 is the Winter Solstice. For us in the northern hemisphere that is. It is of course the Summer Solstice in the southern hemisphere. It is also the day that is exactly 366 days (2012 is a leap year) away from the day the doomsayers say the world will end!

    The reason for this precise date is that it is regarded as the end-date of a 5,125-year-long cycle in the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar.

    Needless to say, the British Gazette gives no credence to this eschatological belief whatsoever.

    The Editor of this organ however is prepared to bring the cataclysm upon us all.

    How? You ask.

    Well, the 21st December 2012 will fall on a Friday. Readers living in the UK will realise that Friday is one of two days in the week (the other is Tuesday) for the draw of the Euromillions Lottery. The Editor has decided to tempt fate by purchasing a ticket that day.

    Why?

    Well we live in an age where it seems that “fate” and “bad luck” are no longer accepted as reasons for accidents, tragedies &C. In this modern compensation culture there must always be someone or something to blame. And to sue.

    The logic goes like this: Assuming “Murphy’s Law” (Anything that can go wrong will go wrong), the Editor buys a single Euromillions lottery ticket. Come the draw, the Editor is the single winner and therefore an instant multimillionaire! Since the draw takes place at 10:45 PM (GMT) the Editor will be a millionaire for no longer than one hour and fifteen minutes and wholly unable to spend any of it!

    Thus, since the Editor will purchase a Euromillions lotto ticket for the draw on the 21st December, 2012, we can now refine the precise moment of the end of the world from the period of twenty four hours on the 21st December to the final seventy five minutes of that day!

    Therefore Dear Reader, when the end comes (after 10:45 PM) you will know who to blame for your demise: the Editor of the British Gazette!

    Furthermore, true to the present immorality of the Europhile political establishment, the Editor is open to bribes! Those who do not want the world to end of the 21st December 2012 are free to contact the Editor with an offer of money for him to agree NOT to purchase a Euromillions Lottery ticket for the draw of 21st December 2012!

    Doubtless some politically correct idiot at the Crown Prosecution Service will consider charging the Editor with demanding money with menaces!

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