• Bugger Me OR Bugger Cameron.

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    The woman above left is “Teresa.” This of course is not her real name. It is in fact her trading name. This is because Teresa is a self employed young woman offering what she wishes to call, “personal services.” Teresa considers herself to be a “professional woman” and describes herself as an “Escort.” Teresa offers what she describes as a full range of services, which decency causes us not to list in detail but suffice it to say that along with offering to rent out her vagina for conventional sexual intercourse, Teresa (for an extra fee) will rent out her anus for penetrative intercourse as well. This of course is buggery.

    Of course, British Gazette readers will know the identity of the woman above right. The Right Dishonourable Theresa May, Home Secretary and Member for Maidenhead. Mrs May who we assume would be unwilling to be buggered herself, is in a – different way – planning to see that Cameron is (metaphorically) buggered!

    It is a fact – ask any medical professional – that buggery is very hazardous to a person’s health. It is therefore not only bizarre but outrageous that any British politician should be seen to be promoting legislation that has the effect of encouraging a practise that is so very clearly hazardous.

    The excellent Christopher Booker writing in the Daily Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/10080015/Its-time-we-knew-the-real-gay-marriage-story.html) draws our attention to the reasons behind the urgency Cameron has shown in getting “Bugger’s Marriage” onto the statue book preferably before June.

    It is interesting is it not to see before us a politician working openly in a Machiavellian way to advance her own career. The politician in question is Theresa May. As Mr Booker relates, May and her co-conspirator Lynne Featherstone, the Lib Dem equalities minister have sought to foist this issue onto the British statute book. Of the two, Lynne Featherstone is clearly the more honourable as she sincerely believes in this perversity whereas Mrs May’s reasons are clearly self serving: She knows well that by foisting “Bugger’s Marriage” onto the statute book, Cameron’s position with the Tory “grass roots” will be fatally undermined. Mrs May is clearly thinking that when the men in grey suits come to call on Cameron she will be best placed to take the reigns and be the second female Prime Minister.

    Thus the differences between the two women pictured above is clear: Teresa is happy to sell her body (to any man prepared to stump up the cash) whilst Theresa is happy to sell her country’s sovereignty to the EU in clear violation of her Privy Councillor’s Oath and her Parliamentary Oath.

    Of the differences between the two women, we are sure British Gazette readers will recall to mind the writings of the Comte de Gramont, remembering the events of 1681:

    “Nell Gwynn was one day passing through the streets of Oxford, in her coach, when the mob mistaking her for her rival, the Duchess of Portsmouth (Louise de Kérouaille), commenced hooting and loading her with every opprobrious epithet. Putting her head out of the coach window, “Good people”, she said, smiling, “you are mistaken; I am the Protestant whore.”

    The “P” in question between Teresa and Theresa is not Protestant but Patriot.

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