• Going Forward: Ed’s new car, the Drive Two Ways.

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    Above is a car prepared by those splendid characters, the French! As you can see Dear Reader, the car is specifically designed for such as the unfortunate Mr Davey for it enables him to make a quick and efficient 180 Degree change in direction without having to turn the car around! All he has to do is to stop the car, turn off engine one, transpose his driving position and start engine two and he is on his way again – after having remembered to put the gearbox in nuetral! This means of course two engines and two gearboxes – the reverse gear being suppressed as it is no longer needed! Many people have an endearing habit of naming their cars. Mr Davey is no exception and we believe he has called his car, “Going Forward” as it can only go in that direction – whichever that direction happens to be!!!

    Of course, two engines means two sets of CO2 emissions, but then since only one engine is used at any one time, these have not being increased! Of course, due to the need to swivel and slide the driving seat (necessitated by the need to locate a pull up handbrake in the centre of the floorplan to enable the car to be reversed on an incline), there is only room for one occupant; the driver. But then, who would want to be in the same car as Mr Davey anyway?

    This car of course symbolises the predicament that poor Mr Davey is in. You see, on one hand, Mr Davey has been quoted as saying:
    ”Lord Lawson perpetuates the myth we need to choose renewables or gas. We don‘t”
    The implication being that “we” [the country] can chose both methods as a means to generating a secure supply of electricity for the country. Of course, this is like a man wishing to purchase two equines. One a racehorse and in addition, a unicorn. The problem of course is that whereas racehorses can be easily acquired at such places as Newmarket (if one has the money) unicorns cannot be as they do not exist!

    Whilst the unfortunate Mr Davey persists in his belief in the existance of unicorns – AKA technologies such as “carbon capture” (pumping vast amounts of CO2 underground) and other such daft imaginings such as covering the North Sea with giant wind turbines, this country’s international creditors have apparently made their opinions perfectly clear to such as Mr Davey. Which has led him to make the following statement:
    “The potential for shale gas is fantastic for our energy security.”
    He also focused on the economic benefits from exploiting the fossil fuel, quipping:
    ”I think the Chancellor might also have noticed the tax revenues.”

    As readers will see from the TPA Debt Clock at the bottom of this article, the UK’s debt is vast. The plain simple fact of the matter is this: When you owe such a prodigious amount of money and the existence of a huge asset such as the Bowland shale reserves comes to the attention of one’s creditors, the decision as to whether to exploit such is not yours but theirs! Rest assured, this country’s creditors will have instructed Mr Davey that the shale gas lying under Lancashire will be exploited. Hence the reason for his apparent volte-face.

    Above is the UK Debt Clock, courtesy of the Tax Payers Alliance.

    You can find them at:http://www.taxpayersalliance.com/

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