• Denise Lewis: Metric Martyr? Nearly!


    Above is a short clip of the former Olympic athlete Denis Lewis, now a presenter for the BBC. Yesterday – in preparation to the commencement of the Commonwealth Games – at 9:10PM, the BBC broadcast the “Seven Wonders of the Commonwealth.” The “Beeb” used your licence fee to send the cheerful and effervescent Denise to the Zambezi and the Victoria Falls. Apart from view the falls, Denise paddled an inflatable canoe for some miles on that turbulent river infested with crocodiles and hippopotamus. That on that river with its currents is not only a feat requires stamina, it requires courage as those crocodiles can and do kill those who venture out onto that river.

    That Denise took these risks for her employer was not enough however. Not content with her taking her life in her hands, the BBC wanted her to do her bit for Brussels. Not for nothing are they referred to as the Brussels Brainwashing Commissariat. It was at this juncture when she was required to tell us about the physical dimensions of the falls that Denise slipped up. She was supposed to tell us that the falls were 1.7 kilometres wide. Poor Denise told us that the falls are over a mile wide. They are actually 1 mile 108 yards across. Realising that she had disobeyed a Brussels directive, poor Denise got a little flustered and told us that the flow rate was over 500 millilitres a second! Err…. Not quite. She nearly said 500 million litres a second. Err…. Not quite.

    The actual average flow rate for the falls is 239,374 Imperial Gallons a second. For those Europhiles insisting on a metric figure, 239,374 Imperial Gallons is – as Derek will gladly tell you – equivalent to 1,088,216 litres a second. Oh, and the height of the falls is 354 feet at the centre.

    This of course shows the absolute contempt the BBC has for its licence payers.

    The British Gazette however is thankful that this intrepid lady made it back safely.

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