These are the words that you Dear Reader may shout at a nefarious reprobate who may have grabbed the purse of your wife – or your purse if you are a lady – and run off with it, as you left the supermarket.
You would naturally call the police and hopefully, if the police deem it sufficiently serious send an officer to take details, you might tell him that the purse contained money. Were that sum to amount to £74.63 it would be the amount of money that your Editor has just stolen from you!
What can I say?
Sorry! But I needed the money!
The one crumb of comfort I can offer you Dear Reader is that the amount I have stolen is down on the £339.05 I stole from you on the 9th September last.
This is because of two things: the weather and the time period as the first theft was for the money stolen from you since the cash collectors on my roof were fitted earlier in the year.
Notwithstanding this it still means that my ill-gotten gains now amount to an equivalent annual rate of return of 9.24% assuming 20% tax paid on interest.
Needless to say, the treasonous felons masquerading as the government of this formerly sovereign country have seen fit to cause such ill-gotten gains to be free of tax.
But then Dear Reader, when did you last hear of a burglar making a tax return?