On 21st March, 2012, Ed Miliband famously likened the Tories to the cast of Downton Abbey in his response to the Budget:
“………But it’s also important to support Downton Abbey [he was referring to government support of the film industry] he went on, “……A tale of a group of out-of-touch millionaires, who act like they’re born to rule, but turn out not to be very good at it….. …..”It sounds familiar doesn’t it? We all know it’s a costume drama – they think it’s a fly-on-the-wall documentary.”
Note to Ed Miliband: The danger of making clever remarks like this is that they can come back and as the Americans say, “bite you on the butt.”
For the Lass from Prestwick, the prospects appear to be rosy indeed. Here is how her excited supporters with their hopes buoyed up by the latest polls are expecting the result of the May 2015 election to pan out……
The SNP romps home and thoroughly defeats Labour in Scotland. This robs Ed Miliband of his ability to form a majority Labour government. Alex Salmond, leader of the SNP in Westminster offers Ed the majority he lacks – possibly in conjunction with Green and Plaid Cymru MPs in a “Progressive Coalition.” Key demands will be abandoning austerity and importantly – especially for his supporters and any Green or Plaid Cymru MPs – abandoning Trident.
There are two big problems with this scenario:
1. Ed Miliband will know that were Labour to govern England this way the result would be political suicide at the next General Election for Labour.
2. It will mean the end of the Great British Illusion.
Note to Ed Miliband: The British Gazette is now going to use your clever remark against you.
You see, Ed Miliband together with David Cameron both know that the present state of affairs in Britain is a Grand Illusion – an illusion which the Bullshit Broadcasting Corporation helps maintain.
FACT: The independent sovereign state that is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, possessor of a “so-called” independent nuclear deterrent and Permanent Member of the Security Council of the United Nations and still a “Great Power” – though not quite as great as in the past – is an illusion, a fantasy. They know that: but large numbers of the British People think it’s real.
Certainly it seems very real for British soldiers (and their grieving families) who get killed in foreign wars.
And this of course is the Big Problem for Nicola and Alex. Their Progressive Coalition would not only make certain the election of a majority Tory government in 2020 – It would also end the Great Illusion! This is something that Ed IS NOT going to agree to!
Of course the Lass from Prestwick and the Lad from Linlithgow both are wandering under the illusion that poor young Ed has no other choice. Oh Dear! Oh Dear! Oh Dear! He has.
In fact, Ed has two choices:
1. Form a minority government. This is the most likely choice.
2. Form what is known as a “Grand Coalition.”
Most British Gazette Readers will know what a “Grand Coalition” is but we will explain it for the few who don’t. A Grand Coalition is where two parties who are normally on complete opposite sides of the fence come together to form a government with an overwhelming majority. They do this generally for two reasons: (i). the problems the country faces are of such a scale as a “government of national unity” is required. This last happened between 1940 and 1945 in the UK. (ii). To stop minor parties dictating terms in a PR type system. Such examples are generally found in countries that use some form of proportional representation and can come about where a small party has been the tail that has been wagging the dog for so long that the dog tires of it and decides to join forces with the folks on the other side – leaving the tail without a dog to wag. This scenario has never happened in the UK before – due primarily to the use of the First Past the Post system that generally delivers majority governments.
The Great Mistake that the Lass from Prestwick and the Lad from Linlithgow are making is that they are assuming because such has never happened in this country, such will never happen in this country.
You see there are two reasons why a Grand Coalition will seem attractive to Messrs. Miliband and Cameron.
1. A Grand Coalition will enable Labour and Tories to maintain the Great British Illusion. This is something they both attach great importance to. Both Miliband and Cameron do not want to loose the UK’s place on the world stage. This is why the Tories have and will continue to resist all calls to reduce the Foreign Aid Budget – which is the UK’s price for maintaining its SC membnership. This is why Labour will never give up Trident. Loose Trident and the UK ceases to become a major player. You see, the Americans have a phrase for this: They call it, “The Vision Thing.” It is how you see your [county/life]. This Dear Reader is the FATAL ERROR that the Lass from Prestwick and the Lad from Linlithgow are making: Their VISION [for their country] is different! Their vision is for a Scotland thoroughly integrated into the EU like a minor Scandinavian type nation. They DO NOT see themselves “strutting their stuff” on the world stage. They see themselves closeted in meetings with the leaders of other small countries in the meeting rooms in Brussels and Strasbourg. What the Lass from Prestwick and the Lad from Linlithgow are demanding is something that neither Ed nor Dave will give up on!
Doubtless British Gazette Readers will remember the end of the 1949 film, Kind Hearts and Coronets, when Louis Mazzini, 10th Duke of Chalfont (played by Dennis Price) leaves the prison and commenting upon the choice he has to make – to murder his Duchess Edith (played by Valerie Hobson) or his blackmailing mistress Sibella (played by Joan Greenwood) remarks upon his quandary to the Prison Governor (played by Clive Morton)
“How does the song go?
“How happy could I be with either…
were tother dear charmer away.”
2. Grand Coalitions result in MORE power to the front bench than LESS. This is because the size of the Grand Coalition’s majority is of such proportions, it can comfortably see off rebellions from the extremes on its wings. For the Tories these will be the Euro-skeptic Tories wanting a referendum on EU membership. For Labour it will be those who want what the SNP wants.
So what can UKIP say?
This: Vote Ed, Get Dave. Vote Dave, Get Ed!
There will of course be those who will be somewhat distressed with such a bleak choice. But remember this Dear Reader: The UK ceased to become an independent sovereign state long ago and most certainly did so after the Lisbon Treaty was ratified.