• The case of the beautiful lady in the red dress.

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    Having listened to the Saturday repeat of BBC Radio Four’s “Any Questions” from the SPRD (Socialist People’s Republic of Dorset) from it’s capital Karl Marx City (formerly Dorchester), I have been reminded of the time when I stood as a council candidate in the late 1980s. The ward I was standing in was a “True Blue” Tory ward. Votes for the Tory candidate were counted, but a lot of time could have been saved at the count in Leeds Town Hall if the votes for the candidates had been weighed. Then we could have all retired to the pub! To drown the sorrows of the beautiful Labour Party candidate.

    Although she is not the lady in the image, she was beautiful. She was passionate – for socialism – as well. And, yes, at the count she wore a red dress. I liked her. Not just because she was beautiful but because of her passion and the way she was so enthused with helping the poor and underprivileged.

    She did not win. She was never going to. However, her sorrows needed drowning for the young lady had been led to believe that a historic victory was on the cards.

    Why?

    Because at all the hustings – and there were several – the great majority of the audience were very much with her. I and the Tory candidate got jeered and booed. The applause and cheers were for our beautiful fellow candidate.

    Naturally, the young lady was enormously pleased at this and lacking experience she took this to mean that she was the most popular candidate amongst the ward’s electorate as a whole. She was of course mistaken. When she arrived at the count her spirits were high. Her mood ebullient. Feminist she may have been but the woman in her saw to it that she had powdered up to take her bow. Over the course of the count that ebullience died and optimism became pessimism and sadness. She had built up her hopes and saw them dashed.

    The result was that I was rather upset for the poor girl.

    Of course, the make up of the audience at those hustings will be of no surprise to British Gazette readers. You Dear Reader, well know that such events seem to bring out all the local lefties and now greens. The non-left non-Green voters do not turn out. Probably because they do not want to be jeered.

    They leave that peculiar form of masochism to odd fellows like me!

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