• Wanted: Salesperson – Unicorn supplier – Weybridge and Byfleet area. Salary: Good Basic + Bonus OTE: £200K. Car (VW Phaeton) and non-contributory pension scheme provided.


    Since the Chameleon has such a talent for mendacity we wonder if he’s ever tried selling unicorns? We hear there is a market for them – for childrens’ parties in Byfleet!

    So, the Chameleon has announced his much anticipated “special status” for Britain!

    Surprise, surprise!

    Of course, he has done no such thing! He says it is legally biding. IT IS NOT!

    What he has got – and what this organ and other commentators have previously reported he would get – was an non binding promissory note that is no more than a political wish list, with no legal force whatsoever!

    Those parts that require treaty change are dependent on treaties to be made at some unspecified point in the future, with no guarantees on their content!

    As for opting out of “ever closer union” – the federalist ratchet at the heart of the European project is one of the things dependent on the above treaty change.

    But surely the pièce de résistance of mendacity and deceit must go to the supposed “emergency brake” on welfare benefits!

    The Chameleon has really surpassed himself here!

    The Chameleon and his European cronies have merely rewritten a 22-year-old provision written in the European Economic Area Agreement, fiddling with minor provisions in existing EU law which now need European Parliament approval and which can be overturned at a drop of a hat!

    Of course this whole nonsense has been a charade from start to finish! The treaties that are up for discussion are those necessary treaties (for the preservation of the Eurozone) that will transform the supra-national confederacy that is the EU today into the fully functional federal superstate that will be the EU of tomorrow. As for the naive assumption that the Robber Barons of Brussels will look sympathetically to a protesting British government? They will simply say: Du gemacht deine Wahl im Jahr 2016! (You made your choice in 2016!)

    Question: What do you use to polish a unicorn’s horn? Answer: Snake oil – available from 4 Matthew Parker Street, London SW1H 9HQ.

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