• Terra Bovem Excrementum


    On Saturday 4th June, your Editor travelled to Terra Bovem Excrementum.

    Bullshitland happened to be on this occasion the bottom of Causeway Head in Penzance. My friends in UKIP were manning a Vote Leave stall there. A few yards (sorry Derek, metres) further up the Labour Party – or rather those Labour Party activists supporting EU membership – had their own stall promoting the “Remain” message.

    Arriving there mid morning on a sunny day I greeted my friends and prepared to set about to lend a helping hand. I then became aware of a little problem. Well, a rather big problem in fact! It was the literature. Some of it was nonsense!

    This is what I meant in previous articles when I stated that there is a surreal feeling to this campaign. Truly, I felt to have travelled to join Alice through the looking glass. Here I was in a weird wonderland! Happily, there was something I could usefully do. There was a very pleasant old gentleman who was clearly an enthusiastic Europhile. He was holding up an “In” placard on a pole. He had chosen to make this stand right by the Vote Leave stand. Some Ukippers had politely asked him to join his colleagues further up. The old gentleman however was a most determined fellow and steadfastly refused to give up his position.
    “Two can play at that game.” I said to one of the St. Ives branch committee members.
    Taking a largish “Vote Leave” sign I walked the few yards up to the Labour Remain stall and standing in front of it held up the sign. One of the Labour ladies who was on one of the Labour branch committees came up to be in high dudgeon and complained – most politely – and asked me to rejoin my colleagues. I refused and suggested that she go down and ask her colleague standing by the Vote Leave stall to join them. Were he to do so, I would return to my colleagues at once.

    The Labour activists duly tried to persuade the old gentleman to join them, but they met with no more success that the Ukippers. I myself them left my new post and had a little chat with this determined old gentleman. The old chap was obdurate. As a result I went back to my post. Again the Labour activists complained. “Why are you doing this one asked plaintively.”
    Of course the ONLY answer I could give was to refer to the obdurate fellow at the bottom of Causeway Head. Now, had I adopted the apparent “convention” pertaining to this surreal other worldly campaign I would have proceeded to score an own goal by truthfully stating:

    “Well, I feel unable to assist my colleagues in the conventional manner, handing out campaign literature as the statements contained on them is nonsense!”

    You see I’m a boring old sort. I happen to be of the old fashioned belief that it is one’s opponent’s job to score their own points! It is not my job to do this for them!

    This impasse however was resolved by a goodly number of unnamed members of the Great British Public! A good number of ordinary people walking up Causeway Head vociferously and enthusiastically voiced their support for “Leave” and in the same manner voiced their rejection of the “Remain” message. This served to dampen the spirits and enthusiasm of the Labour activists. They decided to pack up and leave! At around the same time the old gentlemen left.

    Rejoining my colleagues the question of “what useful thing can I do” came back to haunt me. My stomach was asking for a Cornish Party. I therefore acceded to the demand and bought it one. After stomach had been satisfied the question of promoting the “Leave” message came back to the fore.

    This was remedied by me telling those members of the public interested in discussing the issue some salient facts. These were that the UK had 29 votes out of 352 votes on the European Council. This works out to 8.24% In the European Parliament, the 72 British MEPs form a small part of the 751 total of MEPs. This works out at to 9.59% I pointed out to the members of the public that the government currently owned 9.59% of shares in Lloyds Bank. As I said this I could point to the Lloyds Bank branch at the bottom of Causeway Head a few yards away! I suggested that were the Board of Lloyds Bank to propose a multi-million pound pay rise for António Horta Osório, the bank’s Chief Executive, you [the member of the public I was in conversation with] might object.
    “Yes I [expletive deleted] would!” was the most common reply!
    “Well, the government would be powerless to stop it with 9.59% of the vote. The county is in the same situation in the EU.”
    These salient points generally drove the “Leave” message home.

    This of course brings us to the question of “Why?”

    Why is Boris spouting such nonsense?

    We know it is not because he is stupid or unintelligent. He is a well read and intelligent fellow.

    He also knows that IF the leave campaign wins, HE will be Prime Minster and he will have to deliver what the electorate will have taken as a campaign promise!

    It is at this point we have to address Plan “B”.

    Yesterday on the BBC’s twice nightly “Propaganda Show” – aka “the News” – in commenting upon the Leave campaign a “Remain” supporter who was also a businessman said a very silly thing: “there is no Plan B, remaining in the EU is the only option.”

    This is of course complete nonsense! There is not only a Plan “B” there is also a Plan “C”!

    Plan “C” is of course “Flexcit” articulated by the learned Doctor Richard North and supported the excellent Christopher Booker.

    Plan “B” however is worthy of it’s name because “B” in this case can stand for “Boris”!

    So then, what is Plan “B”?

    Well, it is really rather obvious when one compares Plan “Boris” with Plan “A” which is what the Chameleon came back with from Brussels and Plan “C” – aka Flexcit.

    You see, Boris and the Leave campaigners are focusing on the issue of “immigration”. This is something that Flexcit – which is the ONLY practical “do-able” Brexit strategy – cannot answer as Flexcit involves remaining in the “Single Market” and that means “Free Movement of People”.

    Were Boris to put Flexcit into practise, the UK would be able to easily move from the EU into EFTA/EEA membership. Not dealing with the issue that most voters want dealt with however would guarantee defeat for the Tories in the 2020 general election.

    Therefore in order to increase the Tory’s chances of success to a higher value from that of a snowball’s chances of long term survival in the hottest furnace of Hell, Boris has to come up with a solution to the problem of “immigration”!

    Happily for Boris the UK is not alone in it’s concerns about immigration.

    Many other EU country’s in the East are too.

    Dealing with this issue however is like dealing with a scorpion. Great care is needed to avoid being stung!

    You see the “immigration issue” has TWO distinct parts. Firstly, there is the question of such as Poles, Bulgarians, Czechs, Romanians travelling to the UK and filling vacancies that British employers need filled and who are unable to fill from the indigenous workforce. One of these employers is of course the NHS! Then of course there is what is known as the “migrant crisis”.

    For once this is an accurate term to describe the problem as these people are migrants (not all of them are refugees) and it is a crisis.

    There are of course aspects of the “migrant crisis” that establishment politicians are fully aware of but cannot and will not speak of. This is because such would be extremely politically incorrect. Therefore nobody talks about it!
    Except of course the British Gazette and it’s readers!
    You see, FOUR words can be used to describe most (not all) of these “migrants”.

    Word number one is: Arabic. Many migrants are of Arabic ethnicity.
    Word number two is: Asian. Many migrants are of Asian ethnicity.
    Word number three is: Black. Many migrants are of African ethnicity.
    Word number four is: Muslim. Many migrants are Muslim.

    Now of course, ALL establishment politicians profess fervent adherence to the Faith of Equality.

    The Faith of Equality (FoE) has THREE commandments. It’s authors clearly felt the Almighty’s ten was a tad excessive!

    They are:

    The First Commandment: Thou shalt not discriminate.
    The Second Commandment: Thou shalt not offend.
    The Third Commandment: Thou shalt tolerate.

    British Gazette readers will see clearly Boris’s problem! Boris knows full well that large numbers of British People don’t want to see any more Muslims of African, Arabic or Asian ethnicity come to these shores as they feel the country has too many of these people already!
    Of course he cannot possibly ever admit to this!
    Fortunately – for Boris and the rest of the Eurosceptic Tories – there appears to be the genesis of a solution brewing in Eastern and South Eastern Europe! You see, the EU member states of Estonia, Lativa, Lithuania, Poland, Bulgaria, Romania, Bohemia-Moravia (sorry Czechs, it sounds better!), Slovakia and Slovenia don’t have the FoE problem – at least not to anything like the same extent!

    In these countries, it is still OK to state that you do not want to see large numbers of Africans, Arabs, Asians and Muslims living in one’s neighbourhood. Say that to the local bishop and he would probably agree with you.

    Were your Editor to say that to the The Right Reverend Timothy Thornton, Bishop of Truro, the cleric would be most offended and shocked! For your Editor would most brazenly had broken FoE’s three commandments!

    IF and it is an absolutely enormous size XXXXXXLLLLLLLL if the result is “Leave”, what will happen is this: Prime Minister Boris will conclude a negotiation which keeps the UK in the EU but with an agreement involving treaty change that appears to put some form of constraint of the free movement of people. It will of course be a classic Euro agreement full of smoke and mirrors for it will not what it appears to be!

    It would appear to limit the numbers of East Europeans coming to the UK to take up employment and this seeming to answer the concerns of many members of the public who will have voted “Leave”.

    In reality, it will not because Boris could not get the governments of Estonia, Lativa, Lithuania, Poland, Bulgaria, Romania, Bohemia-Moravia, Slovakia and Slovenia to agree to this!

    The “Quid Pro Quo” will be that Boris will appear to give them this – thus satisfying his own electorate – whilst taking a common line with these governments on the question of African/Arabic/Asian Muslim migrants. You see Boris no more wants large numbers of African/Arabic/Asian Muslim migrants arriving in this country than does Mr Paul Golding of Britain First. A difference being that Mr Golding is honest enough to openly state this. Firstly, when these folk become enfranchised they will overwhelmingly vote Labour and secondly, many people who would have voted Tory would vote UKIP.

    Thus we can expect another referendum in 2017/2018. Unlike the referendum campaign we are currently in, this will likely be a referendum across Europe and it will involve “treaty change” and many member states have constitutional requirements for such. The “treaty change” is required in any event to keep the Eurozone together.

    So what can we promise you Dear Reader in the event of a Brexit vote?

    Even more Bovem Excrementum we are afraid to say!
    Our Advice: Buy air freshener. You will need it!

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