• Take your pick: Le petit-déjeuner du chien OR Canis est scriptor prandium!


    Heraldry is an ancient tradition in this country. This is obvious by the use of French – Norman French.

    As of 1st January 2018 the fees payable upon a personal grant of arms and crest are £6,075.
    GOTO: http://www.college-of-arms.gov.uk/
    Traditionally (that is to say in days of the Wars of the Roses) aristocrats chose to have their mottoes in French. Thus we have “Honi soit qui mal y pense” for the Most Noble Order of the Garter and “Dieu et mon droit” for the Royal motto. Ecclesiastical and academic institutions and persons tended to opt for Latin. So we have decided to have both! Of course, both translate into everyday English as “The dog’s breakfast!”

    Making a dog’s breakfast of things seems to be a national trait or talent. (Should that be disability? Ed.) It should be – post Brexit – the Royal motto!

    Certainly, as today’s excellent blog-post (http://eureferendum.com/blogview.aspx?blogno=86838) by the increasingly exasperated Doctor Richard North shows, the nation’s political elite aided and abetted by the mainstream media appear to be perfecting “institutionalised incompetence” to the level of a high art form! It must be said that to make such a comprehensive mess of a highly complex and time limited negotiation as the present crew (Madame Mayhem, Dimwit Davis and Boris the Buffoon) appear to be doing takes a special kind of genius that transcends mere stupidity!

    Rather than to restate using different words than which Doctor North has used is superfluous. Instead, we simply enclose the hypertext link above.

    Instead, today’s contribution to the sum of human knowledge will focus on a different area of British “muddling through”…..

    In our article of 5th April, 2018 (http://www.british-gazette.co.uk/2018/04/05/and-now-for-something-completely-different-2/), we stated: “The lady presently referred to as HRH the Duchess of Cornwall will become Queen Consort just as her predecessors did. [NB: We will expand on this in a subsequent article]

    Well, today we duly expand:

    It is perfectly clear that – understandably – HRH The Prince of Wales wants his wife to be Queen Consort of the United Kingdom of Great Britain & Northern Ireland and to be crowned as such.

    Here is a FACT: If HRH wants a ceremony like his mother’s on 6th June 1953, he is in for a disappointment.


    Two reasons:

    1. Society has changed. Today and in the future we have what is known as a “multi-cultural, multi-ethnic, multi-faith, multi-gender diverse society”. It must be said at this point that we must all thank the person or persons who ensured that HM’s 1953 coronation was televised – and that recording was saved – for performing a very valuable service to history. For it is NOT going to be repeated.
    Real politic will ensure that the ceremony that confirms HM’s successor will NOT be a re-run of June 1953 in Westminster Abbey. You see, it is insufficiently “inclusive” and to be “relevant” it must be “inclusive”.

    That means to have the new monarch surrounded by a crowd of white upper class titled nobility in an Anglican cathedral following a service based on the rites of the Church of England is NOT “inclusive” nor is it “relevant” to the majority of people who do not go to church.

    The political impossibility of staging a re-run of June 1953 has however a hidden gift: It enables HRH to have Camilla as his Queen Consort. There will of course be many ordinary people (Daily Mail and Sun readers) who will not have forgotten and most certainly not have forgiven HRH and Camilla for “what they did to Princess Di!”

    These people will want to insist that Camilla should be styled in much the same manner as Prince Albert of Sax-Coburg-Gotha was styled, namely HRH The Prince Consort. Thus they will demand that Camilla becomes HRH The Princess Consort and not Queen. That latter title they will (tearfully) insist should have been Diana’s and Camilla must not be allowed it!

    Now at this point, the British Gazette will expect certain constitutionalists who are members of UKIP to point out the following:

    Camilla CAN NOT be crowned Queen any more than she can properly be married in the Church of England – and for the same reason: Her former husband, Brigadier Andrew Henry Parker Bowles OBE is still alive!

    They problem they have is that in order to enforce this tradition they have to have HRH undergo a re-run of June 1953. And that is politically impossible.


    So, what can we look forward to?

    Well a change of venue for a start!

    St Stephen’s Hall is we think the most likely venue as it is ancient and relevant.

    There will of course be the Archbishop of Canterbury – whoever he or she is. And the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Westminster who we know will be male. Present also will be a Muslim cleric, and a Hindu cleric, and a Sikh cleric and a Bhuddist cleric (HRH might even get the Dalai Lama). Then we will have the President of the Methodist Conference and Chief Rabbi of the United Kingdom. Also we must not forget those of no religion so we must have the President of Humanists UK. Furthermore we must have the Chair of The UK Pagan Council! Presumably one who glories under the title of Chief Warlock or Witch (gender dependent).

    Then of course we must have representatives of ALL the Commonwealth Realms. These will probably be the heads of government (Prime Ministers) and the High Commissioners.

    The role of the clerics will of course be to make a short address and say a prayer. Except of course the Chief Warlock or Witch who will presumably cast a spell! (Does he/she require a magic wand? – Ed.)

    After the speeches and the spell will come the entertainment. This of course must be “diverse” and will likely include contributions from the Commonwealth realms.

    Your Editor is looking forward to an excellent contribution from Jamaica in the form of a gaily (traditional meaning) attired steel drum band and attractive lady dancers!

    There is one thing that we can be confident about: It will be a jolly good show. This again shows an enduring national trait. We may be crap at doing the technical stuff. We leave that to the Germans. But when it comes to organising “a big do” we Brits are way out there in a league of our own!

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