• Dear Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms [Delete as appropriate], [Insert surname here], Yours sincerely, [A machine].


    Above a scene from the 1957 movie, “Desk Set” starring Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. The computer in the movie was called EMERAC (Electromagnetic Memory and Research Arithmetical Calculator), shown with it’s inventor (played by Tracy).

    Last week, I received a letter from my bank. Sent out by a computer, it informed me that with effect from the middle of October, my overdraft was being reduced to a fifth of what it was. The reason it stated was, “….you don’t regularly use your Arranged Overdraft we’ve decided to reduce it to a more appropriate level.” The machine went on to suggest that if I wished to maintain the overdraft facility at it’s existing level, I make application for such.

    I did so wish and telephoned a call centre in Glasgow, Scotland and not Gorakhpur, India and did just that. During the application process, the call centre employee asked me a number of questions which included level and source of income. One thing I did communicate was that I did not work. The money I receive is not earned income. I do “make money” out of “investment decisions” made by me but I refuse to regard this as “work”. “Work” is getting out of bed in the mornings five or six days a week and turning up at a place or employment and doing some paid activity. I do not do this. NB: I do however get out of bed in the morning!
    Notwithstanding this however, my annual income has exceeded that of a person over 25 employed on the national minimum wage working a 48 hour week.

    This is because from time to time, I take advantage of movements in share prices. September is a good month for me in terms of income and come the end of the month, the coffers will have been nicely “topped up”!

    This means that I will be observing very closely the shares traded on the London Stock Exchange in October 2019.

    Bye the way, this is as good a time as any to debunk a particular myth that is doing the rounds of the Brexiteers (of which I count myself one); this is the tale about an EU Stock Exchange in Frankfurt or Paris bringing about a loss of 200,000 (plus) jobs in the UK.
    GOTO: http://ilovetheeu.co.uk/democracy/no-none-of-the-list-of-lies-is-laid-down-in-the-lisbon-treaty/
    I don’t love the EU bye the way!
    With the developments at and around Westminster having now descended into the realms of insanity (http://eureferendum.com/blogview.aspx?blogno=87363), the time has now come for me to look after my own interests!
    Looking towards Halloween, my estimation now is that we could be looking at the following scenario unfolding:

    The Buffoon sally’s forth to Brussels on the 17th and 18th October. The result appears inevitable: He will come away with no deal and he will NOT have sought an extension under the terms of Article 50.

    It therefore appears inevitable that there will be a “Parliamentary showdown” on Monday 21st October 2019 – Trafalgar Day!

    The Leader of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition, Comrade Corbyn (For it is He) will put forward a “No Confidence Motion” in Her Majesty’s Government. It will (amidst rowdy scenes) be carried and the provisions of the Fixed-term Parliaments Act 2011 (c. 14) (FTPA) will come into play. A general election will follow should a new government not be formed or a second NCM not be passed fourteen days. The date being Monday, 4th November 2019 – 5 days after Halloween!

    Doubtless, Comrade Corbyn will put himself and the Labour Party forward as the new Prime Minister and the new occupants of the government benches! Doubtless this will be defeated! What is likely to transpire (amidst scenes even rowdier than before) will be the emergence of agreement across the parties for “an Emergency Government”. The most likely candidate for the office of Prime Minister will be the “Father of the House”, The Right Honourable Kenneth Clarke PC, CH, QC, MP the Member for Rushcliffe in Nottinghamshire.

    Time of course will be of the essence as these shenanigans will be taking place against the backdrop of the Article 50 ticking clock! Until the House of Commons can decide, probably by a motion to the effect of, on a replacement Prime Minister and government, the Buffoon and his colleagues will remain in office. In these circumstances it is likely that Comrade Corbyn and Labour will try and push their claim but by Wednesday 23rd October consideration will be given to others and minds will focus on a so-called “Emergency Government”.
    The Buffoon of course has helped matters greatly in depriving many senior Tories of the whip. These plus the Remainers in the so-called “Independent Group” probably along with some Lib-Dems will form a government that would and could only be kept in existence at the behest of the house.

    It is likely that the Queen will have summoned the Remoaner of Rushcliffe to Buckingham Palace to form a new government by Friday 25th October 2019.

    For the Remoaner of Rushcliffe it will truly be a case of William Lenthall’s words coming to pass; “I have neither eyes to see nor tongue to speak in this place but as this House is pleased to direct me”.

    That House of course would direct him towards Brussels to seek an extension to enable it to have more time to debate and decide.

    The new PM will of course head to Brussels probably on Monday 28th October 2019 – which the Roman Catholic PM will note is the feast day of Saints Simon and Jude.

    At this point, be not surprised if the EU Commission’s answer is “Non!” This because it is the European Council that decides on any such request and there is no time left. This will be against a backdrop of savage falls in the value of Sterling on the world’s currency markets, savage falls on the London Stock Exchange of UK equities and the likely down-rating of the UK’s credit rating by the world’s credit agencies. This is likely to mean steep increases in interests rates by the Bank of England.

    What this will likely mean is an “emergency” cabinet meeting of the “Emergency Government” on the morning of Tuesday 29th October 2019. It will likely go on all day. The new PM, the Remoaner of Rushcliffe will likely make a statement at the lectern in the middle of 10 Downing Street with the famous black door of #10 in the background where he will announce that by the use of the Royal Prerogative to Revoke Article 50 by His Excellency, Sir Tim Barrow, KCMG, LVO, MBE, Permanent Representative of the United Kingdom to the European Union has been carried out.

    This announcement will likely occur after 4:30PM and probably well into the evening. The reason? Market sensitivity! This because the London Stock Exchange will open much, much higher than the close the previous day and will continue to clime throughout the day. This rise will be mirrored by Sterling’s rise on the world’s currency markets.

    What this means for people like me is this: If we buy shares in certain companies at low valuations, we will see a rapid and great increase in their trading prices. Which will result in significant capital gains.

    Of course, the Remoaner of Rushcliffe will announce that he will seek a dissolution of Parliament and a General Election. The election will possibly take place on Thursday 12th December 2019. Of it, we can make certain predictions. Firstly, “The Famous Farage” will announce that the Brexit Party is contesting all Parliamentary seats! Expectation of the result? The situation is so unstable as to make reliable forecasts impossible. Were I to put money on it (which I won’t!) it would be for a Lib-Lab coalition with Comrade Corbyn resigning as Labour Leader. This should mean that Comrade Corbyn’s expensive re-nationalisation plans will not come about. It will mean lots of new initiatives on the politics of virtue signalling which means legalisation and “radical” policies on “climate change”, “diversity” and “equality”. This will mean new policies on energy and transport. It will mean a “carbon tax”.

    The Lib-Dems of course will demand (and get) electoral reform. Expect future general elections to use the Single Transferable Vote. The biggest question mark for me will be the future of the House of Lords. A superficial speculation would be that it would be swept away and replaced by an elected house. However, if the Commons is elected by STV then the need for PR in an upper house reduces. Furthermore there would be a clash of mandates. It is possible that the virtue signalling “Lib-Lab pact Mark 2” would opt for temporary peers selected by so-called “Citizens Assemblies” – these are inventions of the virtue signalling politically correct. Members will not be selected on the basis of their expertise, experience and knowledge but on the amorphous chimera of how “representative” they are. This means that they will have to comply with certain requirements. These being ethnicity (not “white”), sexual orientation (not heterosexual), gender (not male), religion (not Christian), disability (not able-bodied). The so-called “one legged, black Muslim woman”!

    These citizens assemblies will select or elect from their own number, delegates to sit in the reformed House of Lords for the length of a Parliament. These will most likely be opinionated college/university lecturers, teachers, solicitors and charity workers.

    UKIP will benefit!

    Firstly, they will be protected from the consequences of their own wishes – namely a “no deal Brexit” – it won’t take place. As a result they will not be blamed for the non existent catastrophic consequences!

    Secondly, The Brexit Party will begin to disintegrate nearly as quickly as it was formed. It’s members (elected and non elected) will tend to migrate to UKIP.

    Thirdly, UKIP will have the “Saga of the Great Betrayal” of how the referendum was fought, and won, on that Glorious Midsummer’s Day of 2019 but victory was robbed by despicable Remainers and Remoaners in the treasonous “Article of Surrender” – aka A50 revocation – delivered just before All Hallows Eve!

    The reader may think I’m being sarcastic but I’m not. If what is postulated comes about the UK’s membership of the EU will have been gravely damaged. It’s legitimacy will have been traduced. The famous 17.4 million voters will be recorded in the history books. The FACT will remain (pun intended) that the British People would have voted to leave the EU and what the history books will immortalise as “the Remainer Parliament” prevented this. “As of now”, we may well “be bored to tears” by Brexit but time will show that we lived through a historic period in the history of these islands.

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