• Don’t Panic!!!! We’re all Doomed!!!!

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    Yesterday those British Gazette readers watching Prime Minister’s Questions will have been witness to a Most Extraordinary Spectacle. This General Election campaign is in fact in danger of becoming a parody of itself – even before Parliament is dissolved and the campaign officially starts!

    What readers witnessed was akin to “buyers panic” at a public auction where two bidders, each de sparely wanting the same item bid against each other sending the auction price up to ridiculous levels. This behaviour has of course has long had a specific term given to it by auctioneers: Bid Fever.

    At PMQ yesterday bid fever had set in and £200 billion of revenue was written off in very short order! Things cannot continue like this!

    What caused this extraordinary behaviour in these two men? The presence of course of two baleful spectres: For Edward the Unfortunate it is the spectre of Alex Salmond who is taking the part of Lord Banquo, Thane of Lochaber in Shakespeare’s Macbeth. For Desperate Dave it is the spectre of Nigel Farage who is taking the part of the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come in Dickens’s A Christmas Carol.

    The threat that Mr Salmond and Mr Farage pose of course is to remove the prospect of each of these men being PM of a majority governemnt – that the lack of success of their parties will cause both to fall short of obtaining the necessary 325 plus seats to form a majority government. Of course such panic attacks that have the effect of limiting the options available to the next government make a desperate situation even worse.

    Unless something unexpected happens, the actions of these four players (Miliband, Salmond, Cameron and Farage) seem to be leading the UK into an inevitable conclusion: the Grand Coalition.

    Those driving this are the aforementioned spectres Salmond and Farage. Both men are VERY different.

    Let us start with Nigel Farage (Desperate Dave’s very own Ghost of Christmas yet to come) and UKIP. It is of course a given that the Editor of this organ supports UKIP. But like previous articles, today’s is not idly going to say what a good chap Farage is and how good a UKIP majority government – which of course is NOT going to happen – would be.

    The fact is that Nigel Farage and his fellow UKIP candidates are doing something vital in this election and it is the same thing that UKIP has done since it was formed by Alan Sked in 1993. It is offering the British Electorate the opportunity to vote for a candidate who wishes to bring about lawful government of the UK. To see to it that Privy Councillors do not commit Perjury by breaching their oaths and do not commit High Treason by causing Her Majesty to be in breach of Her Coronation Oath. These things are important. The most important thing that UKIP candidates can do is what they are doing: standing for election. Winning such elections is of secondary importance. It is the taking part in and offering the opportunity for voters to support lawful government that is the priority.

    It is the gradual realisation on the part of many British Voters that the country has given away vast amounts of sovereign power to the European Union and their extreme dissatisfaction with this that is causing such consternation in the Tory party.

    Let us face FACTS: If UKIP did not exist and none of those who were unhappy with the UK’s vassal status – that is YOU Dear Reader – made any form of public protest about it but kept quiet, the Tories would be facing the prospect of a comfortable victory over Edward the Unfortunate and his Labour colleagues.

    Now let us turn to Alexander, the Lord Banquo, Thane of Lochaber and Linlithgowshire.

    As stated in previous articles, Mr Salmond is a pedaller of nonsense. Unfortunately for Scotland, he is extremely good at it! Mr Salmond’s nonsense is well known, but needs to be briefly surmised again. It is:

    - Scotland can have a “world class” banking and financial services sector in Edinburgh despite its 5.5 million population. Mr Salmond, it woud appear, FAILS to recognise the First Lesson of the 2008 Financial Crisis. This is that the size of a state’s banking sector has to be limited by the overall size of its economy.

    - Scotland can generate huge amounts of cheap reliable electrical power and export same to England by festooning the Highlands and the North Sea with wind turbines.

    The most outrageous nonsense however is this: Vote SNP and cause the SNP to send a huge bloc of MPs to Westminster. These MP’s led by Thane Salmond of Linlithgowshire will then see to it that a minority Labour government will govern the UK according to the SNP’s wishes. Truly, this is Alice in Wonderland politics!

    Of course the Thane of Linlithgowshire knows this! But then he does not care for the alternative open to Labour of the Grand Coalition will enable him and his partner in crime, Mistress Sturgeon of Ayrshire to stir things up in Scotland to bring about another referendum giving them what they desire: Secession from Westminster.

    This is of course not independence. Furthermore, Mr Salmond is fully aware of the lesson of 2008. As he desires two seemingly irreconcilable things – a large and healthy banking and financial services sector in Scotland and secession – he realises that these things can only take place if Scotland enters the Eurozone. Mr Salmond also realises that in order to enter the Eurozone, Scotland’s sovereign debt has to be brought down to a MUCH lower level that it is at present! Scotland’s sovereign debt is of course calculated by exact pro rata of the UK’s debt to population.

    This of course is Mr Salmond’s Baldrickesque “cunning plan” – that a Grand Coalition achieves such by 2020. That such is achieved without the SNP having to take any of the negative political consequences in terms of voter anger. The UK leaves the EU – as it will have to as it is NOT going to adopt the Euro. Scotland can then secede and join the EU on special terms. These special terms would be special in the immediacy of the entry. A practical proposition as Scotland has been an EU member since 1973.

    Wither Scotland? Nothing created by man lasts forever and that includes the EU. The Scots will eventually tire of German Rule and when the EU breaks up will seek a re-accommodation with England. They will have to if they want to preserve their banking and financial services sector.

    So there you have it! When they chopped off the head of King Charles I in 1649 and set up the Commonwealth it all came to an end eleven years later in 1660. After the Restoration the government of the day – acting on the orders of a vengeful Queen Henrietta Marie (relict of Charles I) – had Cromwell dug up and gibbeted! One wonders what awful fate will await Salmond and Sturgeon?